day by day
night by night
you don't know how I feel
or what its like
being under your commands
constantly telling me what to do
i just can't stand your demands
they're just useless
just useless
The two sisters
standing right in front of me
just staring at me
glaring me down
with your big brown eyes
you can't control me
you can't control anything about me
not my actions
nor thoughts
nothing you just can't control it
you can't control me
my fairy godmother by my side
everything is possible with her when she's here
she will defend me
not you
One wave of her magic wand
Poof, be gone!
i have been waiting for this
you can never see me coming now
never
BRIANNE, your poem is very cute. Although, I don't understand "what you feel, or what it's like" possibly explain that more through your allusion, instead of repeating words such as "just useless" or "you can't control". Get straight to the point.
ReplyDeleteYour poem is very unique, it is obvious that your allusion is Cinderella. I think that you should just put more personal connections in it.
ReplyDeleteI like your poem and overall good job. I like how you have a good balance between your life and what you are referencing. The only suggestion I have is to include more descriptive details about your life.
ReplyDelete